Yes...I turned forty in December. sigh
For three days before my birthday, I cried. CRIED myself to sleep. I'd watched my friends turn 40 all year as I inwardly rejoiced that my time was yet to come. But the eve of the eve of the eve of 40 was daunting. Scary. Symbolized the end of another decade. And the gray hairs would continue its journey all around my head.
I never thought I would ever be 40. As a child, I always thought 25 was old. I dreamed of 25. Of being married. Of having children. Of traveling. Of living a good life. Well, 25 came and went. So did 30 and 35. Then 40 loomed in the not too distant future.
I like to say I live my life with no regrets. I don't wish I could go back and re-live a chapter in my life. Everything that I've done, that has happened, existed for a reason.
But, sometimes I sit and wistfully think why I'm still single, why the younger generation of family members have children of their own and my arms hang empty? Is it the curse of being an overly independent person? Of being caretaker and caregiver during those wild and carefree years? Of being shy?
Ironically, I chose "BRAVE" as my word of the year. In some regards, I have lived out this word. In setting limits at work. In saying "No, I can't stay past 5 today." In facilitating presentations. But, to say to someone, "So tell me about that guy who..." Yeah...no... hasn't happened.
People tell me it will happen when I least expect it. So I try not to think about it. That part is easy when you're crazy busy.
From January to July, I managed to change mileage statuses twice. I've been a silver elite member of United Airlines' Mileage Plus Program FOREVER. I've seen the local airport at least once, sometimes twice, a month for the last 7 months. So silver turned to gold turned to platinum. Say what? Platinum status means I've flown over 75,000 miles so far this year. So when I say I've been busy?
I'VE BEEN BUSY.
No joke.
It hasn't all been work and no play. I did manage to take some time off in June for 10 days to attend a family wedding in Phoenix (100 degrees...I really LOVE this family member) and vacation afterwards in Honolulu. I still see my trio of friends monthly. I joined a book club that meets monthly (try keeping up with that reading!).
So while I can't remember what I wore on Monday, but can remember where my boss put something based on the color folder she had it in, I still live my life. Albeit, it's the single life. Maybe that's what makes it easy to send me on a work trip?!?!?
Then I get to come home to this...
