in the last 2 weeks, i worked 15 hours over time. i've tried all week to take some time off, to no avail. but, i did take today off. still have 6 hours burning a hole in my pocket with little chance of using it before i lose it.
i took my time getting ready for the day. when i have time off, i tell no one. i still get ready as if i'm going in to work. i stopped by a local coffee shop and had a frozen soy coffee toffee and a blueberry bagel. then i headed for the GATE (gifted and talented) theater. today was the 5th grade promotional ceremony for the class i left in november. i ran into my cousin lisa and her family. her daughter was being promoted.
lots of kids saw me as i walked in and i heard a lot of, "ms. blaz!"
that was nice.
so much for sneaking in at the last second.
as i sat there, i started to picture myself on stage with my former co-workers. you know what?
i didn't fit into that picture any more.
i couldn't see myself flitting to and fro on that stage making sure everything would go smoothly. i couldn't see myself standing in the wings waiting for the ceremony to begin. i couldn't see myself prepping for the event beforehand. if i had any doubts in the last 6 months, the doubts surely weren't there today.
i was okay with that.
but, i still couldn't stop my eyes from tearing up when two of them gave their speeches (and wasn't surprised at the two who did), when each of my former students was called to receive their certificates. i couldn't stop the tears from forming as they sang their song.
oh, how i worried about how they would do without me.
they did just fine and i'm okay with that.
emotions cast aside...
it was right for me...
to follow a dream to make a difference in an another way.
they're okay with that.